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I WISH I WAS HER - Blog Posts
UUUUGHGH I’M SO JEALOUS OF THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER
I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE SO BAD
its not fairrrrrr that should be MEEEE :(
also gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure, her hands.....dear lord im not making it out of this one.
will be awake thinking about this and probably forever.
I have no words Gwen
I woke up in a daze, it was 3am. Pulled the phone from underneath my pillow and dialed your number with my eyes closed. It was then that I realized we weren't a thing anymore, there was no relationship between us, no name for the distance that bridged the two of us together anymore. I stared blankly, it took me awhile to process the information, for me to completely fathom that you and I are two separate entities now. It hurt for a bit, then I tossed around in bed to see my vanity standing empty. You used to leave your cigarettes there. It hurt again. I covered my face with my blanket only to realize how much it smelled like your cologne and the bourbon you spilled the other day. It hurt more. Caving into all that should have been, I played the audio you recorded in my phone last summer. Your laughter, your words, the way you said my name and the song you sang, it was all painfully beautiful. How can something so beautiful, so precious, so loved become something so painful, so broken and so empty? I couldn't feel my heart anymore. It was 3.30am, my sleep was gone and so were you.
© Raina Rose.
