Ft Hera Syndulla - Blog Posts

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

There  was  a  sick  knot  in  Hera’s  stomach,  hands  dropping  from  Sabine’s  arms  as  another  blast  made  them  duck  for  cover.  She  hadn’t  even  bothered  to  bring  a  weapon.  At  one  point  in  their  life,  it  would  have  been  baffling  not  to  have  one  on  their  hip.  She  imagined  it  was  even  worse  for  their  Mandalorian  child.  “  Good  idea.  My  comm  was  smashed  in  the  commotion.  We’ll  have  to  go  to  Chopper,  tell  him  to  prepare  the  ship.  “  she  informed  them,  eyes  scanning  the  vicinity  one  more  time,  hoping  for  Zeb’s  purple  fur,  Kanan’s  tall  frame,  Ezra’s  dark  hair.  They  weren’t  there,  at  least  not  in  her  view.  “  They  should  know  to  evac  to  The  Ghost  when  they  can,  when  they’ve  done  all  they  can  do.  “  When  there’s  no  one  left  to  save.  “  We  just  have  to  make  sure  the  ship  is  prepared.  “  

The two ducked through the chaos, the eruption of violence continuing its ruinous wake around them. Fires burned in the reflection of Hera’s eyes, and Sabine felt nothing but raw, unfiltered fury, white-hot and burning in their stomach.

“Well, we’d better keep the engine running for them, huh?”

The two of them would see their family again. Sabine had to believe it, had to commit it to memory with every tension of muscle, every kick and thrust and stab and bite. If she had to tear the throats out of every Hapan guard between here and the Ghost, they’d do it. The two of them were going to see their family again, and fuck anything or anyone that stood in the way of a Mandalorian determined.

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

Oh  thank  the  Force  Hera  thought,  pushing  through  the  pain  to  meet  Sabine,  hands  automatically  going  to  their  upper  arms,  examining  them  for  any  visible  signs  of  injury.  Outwardly  she  looked  okay,  but  that  meant  nothing  right  now.  “  No-no….    Not  since  the  explosions.  “  Kriff,  she  had  just  gotten  her  family  whole  again.  Their  stomach  was  in  knots.  “  We  need  to  find  them.  Chop  should  still  be  with  the  ship.  We  can  signal  for  a  pick  up  when  we’re  sure  everything  has  calmed  down.  “  There  was  that  small  relief  at  least.  Hera  hadn’t  trusted  her  droid  not  to  d  something  to  upset  the  very  unsteady  alliance  the  New  Republic  had  with  the  Hapans.  “  Do  you  know  what  happened  ?  “  

_

Fuck, the burns on Hera looked something awful. But they couldn’t focus on that now. Sabine hadn’t found anyone else, and apparently, neither had Hera. They pushed the repulsive thought of what could have happened to them to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the way forward.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. We make for the shipyard, then we find them.” If they could still be found.

In response to their question, she shook their head no, offering little comment as the two ducked for cover. It was all she could do from letting the dread of yet another lost family from choking them.

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

Where  are  they  ??  Hera’s  heart  is  racing,  the  adrenaline  pumping  through  their  veins.  It’s  the  only  way  she’s  ignoring  the  pain  all  over  her  body,  the  fresh  burns  that  had  been  from  the  explosions  just  minutes  after  midnight.  Lekku  damaged,  tattoos  previously  there  now  scattered  with  marred  skin.  Had  it  been  minutes  ??  she  can’t  tell,  can’t  think  straight.  A  flash  of  purple  fabric  has  them  looking  closer,  voice  horse,  “  Sabine  ?!  “  Were  the  others  with  them?  

.

The voice rang clear and familiar even through the erupted chaos around them. They’d heard that voice in firefights and stealth operations alike, from late night confessions to hurried commands of battle. It sent a renewed wave of strength through her bones, pushed her forward, past the bodies and rubble. 

“Buir! Thank fuck you’re alive!” A pause, measuring the damage done to Hera’s lekku, no doubt a result of the flames. “Have you seen anyone else?” The question was vague, but she knew they’d understand. Both needed to know if their family was alive.

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

“  You’re  reckless  now.  “  Hera  reminded  them  with  an  affectionate  shove  of  their  arms  against  her  own.  It  was  something  they  all  shared.  The  twi’lek  had  told  herself  that  it  had  been  necessary.  Most  of  the  time  she  still  thought  it  was.  But  there  were  some  times,  like  looking  at  something  brilliant  that  their  son  had  done,  that  made  her  wonder  if  she  would  do  it  again  today,  leave  him  in  this  wide  galaxy  all  on  his  own.  They  followed  her  over  to  the  table,  sitting  opposite.  They  sighed.  It  was  easy  to  get  lost  in  all  the  things  she  had  done  wrong  as  a  parent.  Being  a  mom  was  hard.  Raising  a  force  sensitive  child  with  an  ability  that  they  did  not  have  was  even  harder.  

Kanan  made  it  easier,  but  that  didn’t  mean  it  didn’t  scare  them  still.  “  You’re  right,  as  always.  “  They  smiled,  reaching  to  grab  Sabine’s  hands.  “  It’s  a  mother’s  jobs  to  worry.  “  They  had  worried  about  the  Ghost  Crew  constantly.  Even  as  they  were  being  thrown  into  life  threatening  events  in  real  time.  “  My  father  respected  the  jedi,  worked  with  them  during  The  Clone  Wars.  But  no  one  could  warn  me  about  how  scary  it  is.  “  

At  the  mention  of  Chopper,  their  lips  quirked  up,  sitting  straighter  in  the  chair.  “  I’m  running  some  diagnostics.  When  the  Ghost  was  on  Sernpidal  he  got  banged  up.  Nothing  that  he  can’t  handle  though.  “  She  grinned.  “  Don’t  let  Chopper  hear  that  though.  Chaos  will  come  in  ten  fold.  Even  as  they  chatted,  it  seemed  like  more  was  going  on  than  they  were  saying.  It  worried  her.  Sabine  could  always  come  to  them.  They  hoped  that  they  knew  that  everything  would  be  dropped  in  a  second  for  any  member  of  the  crew.  

 “    What’s  on  your  mind,  Sabine  ?  “  

Of course, the compliments brought a smile to her face. They knew they were reckless, and they knew they were quick enough to catch a womp rat in its tracks. Still, to hear it from someone she held so much respect for...

“Vor’e, buir. And, hey. If you worry, it’s because you’re a good parent, Hera. Because you know that this galaxy is so big and dangerous, and you just want to keep him safe from that.”

That’s what she had wanted for their little brother, too. But the choices they’d made had hurt. They’d caused scars and bloodshed, and there was no erasing that. And the question, it pulled at their chest even more, a weight that tore through her lungs and into the pit of their stomach.

Sabine valued every relationship with the Spectres, but with Hera...She had always trusted them with feelings and thoughts that the others wren’t sure how to hold. Somehow, her parent always knew how to hear their child, knew how to make her feel held. And they were grateful for that, truly. It was with that trust that Sabine sighed and leaned forward, head resting on crossed arms. 

“You know I don’t want to bring the mood down, ‘specially now that we’re all together again, but...I keep thinking about my family. Well, my other family, on Mandalore.”

There it was, the guilt. The gnawing fear. Sabine knew that Hera understood about having another family (one bound by blood and not bond), but it always felt a little weird to bring them up to her. Still, they had to remind themself to trust the parent that sat before her. 

“I don’t know, I keep finding other Mandalorians out there and it’s just. I can’t help but wonder if they’re out there, too. And if they are, why they haven’t tried to...”

But she knew why. Sabine knew why they wouldn’t try. And she didn’t even blame them.

“When I do, y’know, I just feel this pressing guilt, like a weight on my shoulders. Like it’s my f-” 

The breath caught in their throat as eyes pricked up with moisture, too warm. Too uncomfortable. 

“Anyways. I’m sorry, Hera. I’m not trying to ruin our time together. I just really missed you. I missed this.”

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

Hera  had  been  able  to  rely  on  Sabine  when  their  life  had  been,  even  if  they  didn’t  want  to  admit  it,  in  ruins.  They  were  an  amazing  role  model  for  Jacen,  someone  he  could  both  rely  on  for  guidance  and  adore  due  to  their  fun  and  loving  nature.  It  was  hard  for  her  to  rely  any  of  that  to  the  Mandalorian,  even  after  years  of  being  together.  Affection  hadn’t  come  naturally  to  her.  Even  though  she  wished  it  did  sometimes.  “  I  don’t  know.  He’s  got  Ezra’s  trouble  making  tendencies.  “  she  smiled  affectionately,  going  to  stand  next  to  her,  watching  the  emotions  crossing  her  face  as  she  saw  the  designs  that  had  accumulated  since  her  last  visit.  “  He  wants  to  be  just  like  you.  “  they  informed,  her  arm  wrapping  around  their  shoulders,  chuckling.  “  If  he  asks  use  to  borrow  your  jetpack,  say  no.  “  

They  fixed  a  pointed  glare  towards  Sabine,  though  there  was  no  actual  anger  in  it.  It  had  been  one  of  her  hopes,  for  their  son  to  grow  up  with  values  of  all  of  their  family.  She  saw  small  pieces  them  all  in  him.  “  He’s  been  talking  with  Luke  Skywalker,  trying  to  control  some  of  his  abilities.  “  If  only  Ezra  had  been  there  to  teach  him.  He  would  be  remarkable  at  it,  just  like  Kanan  was  once  he  got  his  head  into  it.  She  was  against  sending  him  to  the  Jedi  Temple,  and  thankfully  Luke  had  respected  their  choice.  Family  mattered  much  more  than  becoming  a  fighting  for  the  New  Republic.  

.

Sabine ran their fingers across the art, old and new, and gave the faintest smile. Hearing her parent talk about Ezra...it brought something of ache to the forefront of their chest, and she knew Hera shared the sentiment. With it, though, was joy (and, even still, a little hope).

“Shit, if he wants to be like me and Ezra, no wonder you’ve got your hands full. But, uh, I don’t know about the jet-pack. I’m sure I was much more reckless at his age.” 

They took a seat at the well-worn Dejarik table and rubbed her hand across their neck, taking a moment to reflect on the other’s musings. 

“Can’t say I know much more about the Jedi than whatever Kanan and Ezra were up to during our time as a crew, but I trust your judgement. I don’t know anything about Skywalker other than the legends, but I know Kanan. If you’re right about Jacen taking after Ezra, he’ll turn out alright.” 

She met the tired eyes of her buir and held their gaze for a moment. They didn’t know how to convey the emotions that were conflicting inside her. Sadness mingled with nostalgia and guilt. It was almost familiar, this cocktail of feelings. Instead, they decided to ask about the unusual silence.

“Speaking of trouble-makers, where’s Chopper? I miss that old war criminal.”

generalspectre​ // hera syndulla

“  You  know,  it’s  starting  to  get  lonely  on  this  ship.  “  Hera  teases  as  they  stand,  arms  already  wrapping  around  the  colorful  armor  of  their  child.  While  neither  Hera  nor  Jacen  had  much  interest  in  him  becoming  a  jedi,  Luke  would  come  sometimes  and  work  on  control  with  her  son.  Small  things  to  help  him  get  by  in  the  galaxy.  This  was  one  of  those  times.  It  was  hard  to  trust  anyone  but  their  family  with  him,  but  they  knew  that  Jacen  would  be  in  good  hands.  “  But  I’m  proud  of  you.  What  you’re  doing  is  important.  “  

@call-me-spectre-five​​

.

Their praise and embrace brought a smile to Sabine’s lips. The two shared a language outside of the spoken word. When you’ve been to hell and back with your family at your side, there are some things better expressed in the pauses between words, the silence before speech.

“Thank you, Hera. You know I’m always happy to see you.” They dropped their bags in the old cargo room, happy to see her artwork still adorning the walls of the Ghost. “If you ever want to get the little womp rat out of your lekku for a weekend, give me a call.” 

Looking closer, they noticed colorful scribbles on the wall beside her own. Huh. The kiddo wasn’t too old but his control of line, his use of color...it was already well-developed. The thought of her vod’ika taking after them at all made Sabine swell with pride.

“Jacen’s works, I assume?”

This night was exactly what Sabine needed. After months of...well, everything that had happened, this feeling was nothing short of a fucking miracle. So, they figured, might as well ride the high while it was here. Let tomorrow’s problems belong to tomorrow; today was for good company. And speaking of...

They spotted the twi’lek out of the corner of her eye, a nervous parent standing away from the prying eyes and hot bodies of the crowd. The garden outside was quieter, and well-lit with strings of lights. A striking contrast to their dark jumper. The weightlessness of whatever she had consumed carried them over, prompted them to pull Hera into embrace.

“Heraaaaa! Haar’chak, buir, I can’t you actually came!” They giggled and downed another shot, offering one to the mentor in front of her. “You look stunning.”

@generalspectre​ 

@generalspectre​ // Hera Syndulla

The  thought  of  having  Sabine  under  their  roof  for  any  amount  of  time  was  enough  to  make  Hera  smile.  “  Don’t  worry,  he’ll  be  just  as  happy  to  see  you  tomorrow.  “  The  pilot  was  sure  that  her  child  had  so  much  going  on.  She  knew  that  the  Mandalorian  felt  very  deeply,  especially  with  the  death  of  Ezra.  “  You  know  you  always  have  a  home  here.  “  they  replied,  smiling  down  at  the  loth  cat  as  she  answered.  “  I  don’t  know  how  Chopwill  feel  about  you  though.  “  she  informed  the  cat,  watching  the  cat  nip  at  their  heels.  “  We’ll  just  have  to  be  careful.  “  Dark  brows  raise  as  they  recognize  the  pale  pink  drink  in  their  hands.  Her  own  move  to  her  hips  and  she  grins,  “  I  don’t  remember  the  last  time  I  had  an  adult  drink.  “  the  emphasis  on  adult  is  intentional.  They  step  forward,  wrapping  one  arm  around  their  shoulders,  the  cold  armor  pressing  against  her  sleeves.  “  Now  we  just  need  to  get  Zeb  back  here.  “  the  murmured,  leading  the  pair  up  the  ramp.  They  could  never  fault  their  friend  for  being  happy  with  their  people,  but  she  still  missed  him.  

Sabine’s smile broke a little at the mention of Zeb’s name. Although glad to hear from Kallus that he was doing well, it still stung a little, knowing the reunion was incomplete. Still, the Mandalorian had one of their parents here, had their little brother, Jacen (they even had Chopper), and that was enough for now.

Sabine handed Hera the drink and followed the twi’lek into the cabin of the ship. As soon as she stepped inside, the little astromech raced to greet her, chittering away. They lowered themself to his level, raising one hand to the little droid’s dome in affection.

“Okay, okay, Chop! Yeah, I missed you too, buddy.” They glanced over at Blueberry, who stood behind Hera with raised ears and bristled tail. “No, you will not, Chopper. Don’t joke about that.” Sabine met their cat’s eyes, holding his gaze. “You two play nice. And don’t you wake Jacen.”

They turned with a slight sigh, wondering how long it would take for either to pick a fight. Hera stood a few feet away, watching with amusement and crossed arms.

“I think you have a point about these guys. We’ll have to keep an eye on them. But hopefully Jacen will be glad to meet Blue.”

They followed Hera through the familiar passages of the ship until both were seated across from each other, their bags stowed messily on the floor. Sabine sighed, stretching out, reaching for a glass. Finally, she could relax.

@generalspectre​ // Hera Syndulla

It had been hard, with everyone spread out so far. They were sure that it was the same for all of their family. They would survive, as they always had, their crew. But it would take time. She had her family, had Kanan and Jacen, but her heart did feel that much more full with Sabine in her arms. Their head pressed against their hair, truly breathing for the first time in months. “ I’m so glad to see you. “ they murmured. It was just like Sabine to ask about the others before settling down. Jacen would be excited to see them, she knew that. “ Jacen’s going to be upset he missed you coming. “ she replied, stepping back just far enough so they could meet their eyes. “ He’s so big, you won’t believe it. Kanan’s good. He’ll be sad he missed you, if you’re leaving soon. “ she eyed them then, eyebrows raised as if they hoped the Mandalorian would challenge them. The pilot had no intentions of letting her child go any time soon. 

“Awe, Hera, I tried to make it before sunsdown to see him, but I had to stop for a refuel and got caught in some New Republic protocol or another. I can’t wait to see him when he wakes up, though.” They could only imagine how much the little guy had grown, had taken after his parents. He had been a welcome addition to the Spectre family, and Sabine loved to spoil him when they could afford to come visit.

“I would love to stay a few days, if you’d have me.” From behind them, their loth-cat nipped at her heels playfully. “And Blue, of course.”

They adjusted the pack on her shoulder and withdrew a circular bottle, filled to the brim with a pale pink translucence. 

“Also, I brought Rylothan Yurp, if you’re up for a drink.”

They smiled crookedly, one corner of her lips barely higher than the other. It was good to be home again.

@generalspectre​ // Hera Syndulla

Hera  still,  after  two  years  of  peace,  struggled  with  the  idea  of  quiet  nights.  With  Jacen  sleeping  quietly  in  his  bunk,  they  sat  on  the  ramp,  cup  of  Ryl  tea  in  hand.  If  she  closed  her  eyes  she  could  feel  like  she  was  home.  They  heard  the  speeder  bike  before  they  saw  it  and  their  lekku  perked  when  they  recognized  the  painted  Mandalorian  armor.  “  Sabine  !!  “  they  called,  tea  forgotten  as  she  jumped  up,  moving  down  the  rest  of  the  ramp  to  wait  outside  the  ship.    Maybe  it  wouldn’t  be  as  quiet  as  she  originally  thought. 

@call-me-spectre-five​​  

After a long night of thought, Sabine had made up their mind. Surely Hera had understood their need for time and space, but the grieving period was finally drawing to a close. Of course, the pain would always stick with her, but the best thing they could do now was surround themself with those that truly loved them. She needed to remember what it was like to be loved, and to practice it in full. The war had taken so much from her, had stripped her of friends and family members alike, but at least there were still a few people left that cared. As they had hoped, their surprise visit was well-retrieved.

“Hera!” They pulled each other into an embrace and Sabine allowed herself-- for the first time in weeks-- to truly feel held.

“Thought you could use some company. How are you and Jacen? And Kanan?”