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Yes! Wolverine & Deadpool having a brat off? Both sub brat bottoms competing for reader? Maybe ending up in a 3way relationship
Logan Howlett x Cable variant male reader x Wade Wilson
Headcanons
I like cable, so, cable variant reader. i had a lot of fun writing this, so i hope yall enjoy.
You were a variant of cable, that much was clear when Logan and Wade first met you in the void. The mechanical eye and arm were a pretty clear tell.
And Wade, already knowing his own Cable, immediately started squealing and trying to jump at you to hug you and kiss you all over in the way Deadpool is known for. Of course you throw him off you, maybe even shoot him once or twice, because who wouldn’t.
You and Logan were both pretty gruff guys, with pasts of your own that made you that way, where Wade was just his annoyance self. It helped keep everything less tense though, especially in the fight against Cassandra.
In the end, you somehow got dragged along to the big fight, and you being a cable variant got different versions of Deadpool to start fawning over you during the whole fight sequence with them.
After it all was done and over with, you also got dragged along to Wades timeline. You were different enough to his cable to fit in without the universe ripping itself apart, and what could you say, you had grown to like these two, as much as you butted heads.
Blind Al was immediately against both you and Logan moving in, since there was barely any room at all. She did appreciate you being able to cook though, and the fact that you could jump across time to get her cocaine from the future.
In the end, Wade, Logan and you move out together after taking different jobs, and getting paid by the TVA to deal with variants making their way into this universe. You bring Mary poppins obviously.
You couldn’t tell when it all got romantic, neither could Logan and Wade honestly. You all lives together, and it youd left Wade in charge of getting beds, like the idiots you were. And of course he got one of those Alaskan king beds
Wade pouted and whined about how you were all so close, and how he was hairless all over so of course he needed to cuddle between you and Logan for warmth. It resulted and some fighting, Wade getting impaled by Logans claws, and you scruffing them both to pull them apart like scrabbling cats.
In the end you guys keep the bed though, and end up sleeping together with you in the middle. Logan has a preference to sleep on your mechanical arm, since he can’t break it easily, and wade just likes to tuck himself as deep into the crook of your arm as possible, always moaning about man stench and how nice and hairy you are.
That always results in you rolling over so your backs towards him, deciding to just spoon Logan instead. And yes, you do notice the little cocky smirk on his lips when you do it, especially when he makes sure Wades watching. Its only when Wade starts rolling on the bed whining like a shot dog that he’s so cold and lonely that you roll back over to let him cuddle against you again.
Logan isn’t the most affectionate guy in the beginning, where Wade is too much. Its clear to you that they’re both acting like this as a defense mechanism, and it takes a long time for you to work them both to a place where they’re more comfortable.
You aren’t too shocked that Logan and Wade both turn out to be cuddlebugs, Logans just a lot grumblier and more catlike about it, where Wade is more like an over excited puppy slobbering all over your face, because he got the bright idea to try and lick your mechanical eye.
What you hadn’t expected was for them both to be so… damn… bratty…
Wade you could see, hell, it was even expected. It didn’t even take him an hour after meeting for him to bend over too much and grind back against you and giggle like a schoolgirl about it. Logan had been a bit of a shock though.
You had assumed you two would need to duke it out for dominance like a pair of bears for territory, but after getting him comfortable, Logan just rolls over and shows his stomach. It left you scratching your head a bit, but you weren’t gonna turn it away, who wouldn’t want to top Logan?
Him acting bratty was an experience though, the first few times. Where Wade was bratty in the way where hed show off way too much, wearing tight clothes or rubbing on you, teasing you any chance he got. Logan was brattier in the way that made you want to throw him over your knee and smack some sense into him, with the nonorganic hand you had.
He started scratching at furniture, leaving your boots and weapons all over the apartment, using up all your leather grease and leaving the tin empty in your toolbelt. It was like he was trying to see which buttons he could press and which he couldn’t.
Maybe it was because of your mind powers, but you could feel the, whatever it was, brewing in the air, growing thicker each day. It got to the point where Wade and Logan mixed up their methods. How the hell were you gonna focus on your guns when Logan was flaunting around in nothing but a way too small towel, and Wade was making a damn mess in the kitchen he wasn’t gonna clean up?
Logan was the first to pick up when they’d gone too far, since hed been hypervigilant about your scent since they started rocking the boat. But Wade very quickly paid attention when you put your, unpolished still, boots on and got up.
They’d both tensed up when you turned your two different eyes towards them, the tech eye flaring in a way they both knew meant business. They were both left flounder though, as you grabbed your jacket and told them to get ready for when you came back, and you just… left.
Both Wade and Logan were lost about that, both expecting you to bend them both over and make them regret how far they had pushed you, but instead they could just hear your heavy boots stomping down the hallway and out the apartment building.
Neither of them were too well behaved, but they were smart enough to at least get naked and prepped, and maybe they helped each other, though it was mainly Wade riding Logans fingers and whining like he was wounded the entire time.
A good hour passed before you came back, smelling like the cigarettes you smoked when you needed to do a more serious hit. Logan could also smell alcohol on you, but nowhere near enough to mean you were drunk. You had clearly just let them be to make them anxious.
Wade got whiny and grumbly when you undid your belt and freed yourself, just tilting your head in their direction as if to say “you gonna apologize to me?”. Logan, being the smarter of the two, and wanting to be first, was quick to crawl towards you and wrap his lips around your shaft.
Wade, seeing this, immediately started complaining and crawling over, trying to lap at whatever Logan couldn’t fit in his mouth, which wasn’t a lot, seeing as Logan didn’t want Wade to get any of you so he pushed his throat to the max.
As they fought for your cock, you just leaned back to watch, and unamused expression on your face as if it was the most boring blowjob you had ever gotten. Even as Wade swapped to lap at your sack instead, since Logan was hogging your cock.
You do end up fucking them both senseless, your telekinetic powers coming in handy to hold the one you weren’t shoving face first into the floor still. It also helped you keep Wades mouth shut, since he became even more of a motormouth with you inside him.
Of course, you also made Wade lick up the drool puddle he made on the floor, as well as making them both lick up the other messes they made. As a treat you let them eat your loads out of each other, because yes, you could be nice.
You weren’t though, so, even as Wade whined and complaining and Logan grumbled and scowled, you used your powers to cage them both up. If they were gonna be such brats, then they didn’t deserve to touch themselves, each other, or be touched by you.
And with the restriction being made from your mind powers, and you being so powerful, you could keep up with it even when asleep. And it wasn’t like they could just pull it off.
It led to even more bratting for the next couple of weeks, both of them acting out in their own ways about the punishment. But you just end up lengthening the period of your punishments, and adding more stuff on top of it.
Surprisingly its Wade that gets taken out of it first, since he could be good when he wanted too, and Logan has a tendency to be extremely stubborn. To no one’s surprise, Wade gloated the entire time he was allowed to ride you, taunting Logan that he wished it was him, but it wasn’t.
You did have to spank him for that one, but Wade didn’t seem to mind that much.
When you finally let Logan out, he’s on you in a second, whinier than you’re used too and rocking in your lap, more desperate than he’s been in years.
After all this you know their good behavior will only stick for a month or two before they’re back to it. you won’t complain though, since you love it. you act like you hate it, but that’s just part of the game, and seeing them compete makes your heart (and your crotch) full. And you all know that they enjoy the punishments too.
☆ SYNOPSIS : the Merc with the mouth tries making you jealous or tries flirting with you
GENRE : fluff with a flirty Deadpool
pairing — deadpool x assistant!reader
— tagslist
﹒ ◠ 𝓘𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ⊹ ﹒
Tw; crack, fluff, slight angst
Mahito, toji, gojo, deadpool (goofy), wolverine
Likes and reblogs are appreciated
I went with my mom to the cinema yesterday to watch Deadpool & Wolverine and I can't stop thinking about the movie!! It was sooo goooodddd.
Send requests for Wade and Logan I'm begging-
🤭 I don’t know what it is with my fascination when it comes to movies or tv shows that clearly are normal like no superpowers and things related to that sort. I like the idea of there being at least 1 person. Even if it’s just a small percentage, someone out there in those shows, be it a main character or a background character, someone simply written to advance another characters characters and so on a copy and paste of the same damn thing over and over again. Oh god I’m droning on. Anyways basically I like the idea of someone in those worlds having a least a power or a hidden talent that could go as a power or a form of humans simply mutating 🤷🏽♀️
𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐦𝐠👹👹‼️
I hate to beg, but LAWD Y'ALL PUH-LEASE MAKE A DEADPOOL X GAMBIT X READER FIC, I'LL DROP TO MY KNEES AND B E G😭🙏🏽🙏🏽. in my head, they're such an underrated yet COMPATIBLE duo like omg, wade's outta pocket humor and the absolute WILD shit remy says all of the time,,,
and you wanna tell me they wouldn't be besties (once wade learned to understand him)?!? HA! also, I think it would definitely make sense for reader, while having them both as partners, go to wade for when she needs cheering up and mindless recklessness and stuff like that, and then she can go to remy for most of the deeply emotional needs and shit (not saying she's strictly going to one or the other for one of those things, but yk, both have their strong suits is all I'm saying🤷🏽♀️).
anyways, I'm done yappin' for now. I feel like I'm limiting myself waiting for me to finish more requests before I start writing for the holy trinity (wade, logan, remy) myself, but it's just because I wanna prioritize y'all before indulging in my own stuff lmfao💀.
𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥 & 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲...
my head is all but consumed with thoughts only of wade wilson, logan howlett, and remy lebeau. they're all I can process in my head (besides shazam, but that's a given considering no one loves shazam the way I do, so🤷🏽♀️) and I y e a r n desperately for an influx in "wade x y/n x logan" fics and the "remy x y/n" fics... dare I even ask, humbly ofc, hear me out... for a splash of "wade x y/n x remy". genuinely, I'd kill for some of that ngl.
and I bet you're wondering, "lyssa, why not do it yourself🤔?"
short answer: I am swamped with requests, and even if I wasn't, I'm not ready yet lmao I fear I do not possess the skills to capture them in my writing perfectly😔 ... yet😈.
in the meantime, tho *😈evil little laughter😈* may I plz suggest the following prompts and pairings to and for anybody willing to work with them or wanting ideas (begging any writers that see this to please write these and tag me plz plz plz plz plz 😭🙏🏽😃plzplzplzplzplzplzplzpl-)...
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⚠️trigger and content warning btw lol -
mentions of fighting/violence/bloodshed, death, gore, (like c'mon,,, bffr, look at who you're reading about😐🤨), anxiety/panic attacks, harsh words/themes/elements/physical injuries, abuse and/or negelct, separation anxiety, mental disorders, brief mention of sickness/illness, drugs (just 🍃 and painkillers), age gap (nothing illegal, chill out🤨✋🏽), use of a derogatory term (not used in a negative sense tho lol), and some semi-common smut themes that I won't list here, but be wary if that stuff makes you uncomfortable :)♡. also, these are all under the pretense that the reader is a cis girl, she/her/hers pronouns (so ig you could think of this as one, big, mass request to all writers willing from me lol🤭🥴🫶🏽).
𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭/𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭/𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 :
- reader having a panic/anxiety attack and ofc being comforted (causes my vary; maybe right after a fight/battle, or because of over-worrying or too much pressure, maybe after a fight with another loved one, etcetc). definitely wanna see this with all three of them, but separately, tho. like, one fic or list of "preferences/headcannons" for logan, one for wade, and then one for remy.
- near death or death (followed by resurrection swift after). it could be reader almost dies or dies (then gets resurrected, get creative with it/how, fr, yk?) or the reverse; the POI (person of interest) dies, although given two of the three's abilities, y'all might have to get creative if you want it to translate for logan and/or wade so this one would be mainly for a remy x reader.
- I personally love a good "POI says sumn mean/outta pocket, hurts reader's feels, stuff happens idk, but they eventually kiss and make up" trope. I'd eat that up, especially cuz OHHH,,,, wade taking a joke or playful argument or something too far? logan being a little too mean/angsty to you for comfort?? remy saying something that gets lost in translation, so it comes out harsher than intended??? 😫😫😫‼️‼️ AND IF YOU WANNA GET MESSY WIT IT, RUNNING TO ONE OF THE OTHER THREE FOR COMFORT🙈🙈⁉️⁉️⁉️.
- a classic; reader getting injured (mildly or worse, doesn't matter), needing to be taken care of, but is stubborn about it?? always a good one.
- getting a little crazy and silly here, but I like a good "abusive and/or negelctful ex/current partner" trope. like hell yeah, one of you big, strong men get over here and save me, whisk me away and show me what I really deserve😻‼️. NOT romanticizing/glorifying it obvs, like no, I mean that wade, logan, and/or remy would not be the red flags in this scenario, they're the one(s) doing the saving FROM the red flag ex/current partner lol.
- getting a little crazier and sillier with this one, but one where reader gets snatched up🙂? oouuuu, miss girl got kidnapped?! once again, somebody come save me, and if "somebody" is not wade, logan, and/or remy, then don't bother, I don't want it. matter of fact, just gon' on ahead and leave me, I'll figure it out myself🙂✌🏽. I think I'd want these separate, actually, bc I wanna take in the individuality of their reactions, like,,, logan going feral?? pretty predictable tbh lmao but still hot. remy?? idek ngl, y'all gon' have to figure him out. BUT WADE BEING SERIOUS AND NOT AS TALKATIVE FOR ONCE UNTIL HE KNOWS YOU'RE SAFE???? OOOHOOHOOOOOOO, GIMMIE🖐🏽👹🖐🏽✊🏽👹✊🏽!!!
- ig this could be put in the panic/anxiety attack category, but I also feel like this might be it's own separate thing, so idk, but... separation anxiety on reader's part. whatever the circumstances may be to breed it, reader is just (not in a unhealthy way) attached to the POI(s), so them leaving for whatever reason is pretty hard on her (and the POI(s), too, because hello, they don't wanna make their reader upset, but things gotta get done fr yk😫🥲),,, lots of reassurance, comforting, and maybe distractions ensue??
- reader with an alter ego/inner beast, whether that be a result of her powers or a mental disorder (think like,,, split personality or maybe DID or something like that, but I do wanna say, if you're gonna go the mental route, make sure you do your research so that you're representing it - not only accurately - but you're not dehumanizing or dumbing it down as well) or just anything that would cause the reader to, as I said, have a different side of themself,,, werewolf type deal, yk? "normal" for the most part, but then has her moments where she be on demon time and then when she's back to herself, she's just like "???" while everyone else is like "!!!". I suppose this could then be followed up/solved with a "the sun's getting real low" typa thing/moment from the POI(s), but that's neither here nor there, do what feels right fr♡.
- reader (just barely) escapes cassandra nova??? that could be cool (a.k.a. very, very angsty bc surely the encounter has messed the reader alllll the way up both mentally and physically, especially knowing what typa timing cass be on lmao😃). love a good hurt/comfort, I can't get enough, actually. this one (given the movie context) may or may not work with wolvie and/or pool (again, up to the writer to get creative), but gambit?? he's been in the void his whole life, he knows cass, sooo it'd make more sense for him to have a higher understanding of the situation in full, but do what y'all want, I'm just the idea woman🤷🏽♀️.
𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 :
- morning cuddles and softeness and ughghfhfhdjd♡!!♡!♡!!♡!♡!!♡!! and then the opposite, night/bedtime cuddles and softness and uugjfjdkwkfke♡!!♡!♡!!♡!♡!!♡!!
- height difference teasings and shenanigans. we can always stick to the classics, ofc, short reader, tall wade, logan, and/or remy. maybe its an advantage in fights - fast, lethal, and small + big, shielding, and strong - but sucks in more domestic/calm cases like reaching for shit on the top shelf or wanting to kiss somebody. but I'd also love some tall gworl reader type shit, miss strong, lean, runway model energy, stepping on any heads and wooing any men that are in her path🥴😻. bending down with a smile so she can hear him, mindlessly playing with his hair, occasionally makes a quip here and there on the difference without thinking lol and he haaaaateeees all of it (but he looooveeeessss all of it🤭).
- reader being THAT GIRL, literally being in a 1v26 or sumn crazy like that and she's just kicking ass and shit the whole time, and then there's the POI(s),,, gawking and in love like "damn that's MY GIRL fr\😻/!!".
- *imagine a vine boom after every bolded word, okay, go* teen/minor/young PLATONIC NONSEXUAL NONROMANTIC (literally I can not stress this enough) NOT DATING AT ALL EVER reader and one/two/all of them. I think it'd just be silly seeing them (wade, logan, and or remy) working/paired with/having a bond with this little gremlin yet sweetheart of a reader who's somehow able to tolerate/put up with/ignore/maybe even indulge in their craziness lmfao. maybe just as or is even more crazy than they are, chaotic and desensitized type shit. you could even get ansgty with it, have this teen reader need saving or something like that, yk?
- sparring match and reader BEATS POI(s) in said spar cuz she's cool, awesome, and mega baller like that. lots of tension and goofiness, especially from the reader, cuz she knows damn well she's the shit. or, a different route!!... total dumb luck that she beat him/both/all of them, and is very obviously playing it off/acting like she won on purpose lmfao, cockiness ensuing.
- can't go wrong with a sick-fic lol. who doesn't wanna be taken care of?
- reader needs/wears glasses🤷🏽♀️. it can be the discovery of actually needing them, reader always squinting tryna read/see shit, or nearly getting herself in and out of danger bc again, she blind lmao. or it's just the case of reader never wears them out and about, but in calmer moments (where she doesn't run the risk of breaking them) she'll put them on, so she decides to bust 'em out one day and it's just the POI(s) being like ":O...😻😻!!".
- *olivia rodrigo voice* JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY, YEAA-aAAH😫😫‼️ ... reader who just,,, she don't play that shit, man, lmfao it's called you can prove yourself either friend or foe,,, stay tf away from my man or get your ass beat. pick one. and it's the POI(s) just absolutely flattered and amused with this energy from reader lmfao, reassurance ensuing quick after ofc. or, if you wanna get silly with it (and by silly, I mean violent♡), reader with a girl who can't take a hint😀 *eye twitch* so she finally makes shit clear one way or another (one way; does sumn with the POI(s) that makes the girl uncomfortable so she fucks off. another; reader pretty much beats that girl up and it's the POI(s) laughing but also trying to pry reader off of her cuz "stop it, I'm yours, I promise, you don't have to kill her, she didn't know any better😭!"). or just completely switch it up, vice versa, role-reversal POI(s) get jelly and it's reader having to deal with whatever may happen after/due to the fact lol.
𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 :
- shameless flirt reader!!!! she's not obnoxious or out of character/proper timing with it, but definitely a reader with helllllaaaaa rizz. is mainly on some "is somebody gonna match my freak?" type shi. wade would find it very silly and he'd match the freak ofc. logan,,, maybe he'd start off annoyed by it, then get used to it, only realizing you've actually grown on him once you start to pull back a little/stop completely? REMY WOULD LOVE AND BE AMUSED BY IT, so all I'm gonna say here is this: rabbits🐇🥰. iykyk♡.
- a smoke sesh leading to some good, old fashioned high/sleepy sex🥰. that's it, that's the prompt♡.
- lord, free me from my sins🙏🏽, plz don't judge me y'all😔 ,,, age gap😃? NOTHING CRAZY, CHILL, but yk, like,,, just a little young thing in her 20s or sumn being scooped up by one (or two🤭) of these older, more mature, aged like fine wine, and experienced men,,, that's all🥰.
- that moment when reader is a whore and is actually literally prancing around without a care in the world, fucking three different guys (wade, logan, and remy obvs) because "they're hot lol" - not necessarily behind their backs - but no one's saying anything or telling her no, nor does anyone seem to have any issues with it/are opposed, sooo😗🤷🏽♀️.
- do y'all think,,, because wolverine is yk...wolf-like-ish-whatever.... do y'all think that he,,,, that maybe he goes thru... a rut🙂?? lmfaoGDHAKXKPQPRR okay that's enough, that's enough🥴✋🏽-.
- you know how some smut has certain labels/themes/tags that are gonna be, yk,,, in said smut?? well, cuz I'm out of any specific ideas for smut, I'm just gonna leave some here, m'kaaaay, and whatever y'all wanna dooooo is up to youuuu, just as long as I get to seeee😗☺️🫶🏽~...
⚠️ also don't say I didn't warn y'all, I mean, there's literally a whole ass trigger warning at the top, so do not start fckn trippin' because you disagree with me or saw sumn you don't fw, cuz tbh, I don't care and you can honestly block me if it's that serious♡.
dom-sub, daddy/praise/breeding/spanking kink, knife/gun/blood play (and/or just mutant/power ability play in general hehehe), food/wax play, cnc (I don't suggest full blown non-con seeing as none of them seem the type to do such, no matter the circumstances, plus it's just not my thing personally but hey, I'm not currently writing for pool, wolvie, or gambit rn, so that's up to whoever is🤷🏽♀️), hunter-prey (y'all might see this and immediately think wolvie, which is understandable fr, but I beg y'all to get creative and let remy and/or wade hunt reader down, it can be done and done right, I promise, plz, I need it, 😫PLEASE!!-), friends with benefits,,, OHHH ENEMIES with benefits🫢🫢!!, overstim, jealousy/possessive/yandere, unprotected/creampie/oral ... that's all that comes to mind lmao wow what a crazy note to end this on, anyways-
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yeah, so, do with all of this what you will (and plz spread this around, I genuinely do wanna see these get written and myself tagged like I am PINING for these fic ideas to be turned into reality😭🙏🏽), I just had to get my thoughts out before I forgot (at least in the fanfic department), because if someone were to ask me my thoughts on the movie itself !!!!! OMG I could run my mouth forever, but I don't wanna do that (lazy) so lmao for now, that's all lol byeeee~ /ᐠ-˕-マ!!
- Binge-watching “The Golden Girls” together.
-Eating and attempting to make chimichangas together.
-He gets friendship necklaces for you and him.
-Him not wearing the suit around you because he knows you don’t mind.
-Sharing a sense of humor.
-You managing to out-sass him and him being shocked… and then he quickly quips back.
-When he forgets his duffel bag, you always find it and get it to him. No matter what.
-So. Much. Cursing.
-Him being super protective of you. Only he can tease you.
-Pranking Spider-Man, the Avengers, the X-Men… anyone and everyone.
-Offering to kill people for each other.
-You being incredibly confused whenever he mentions the readers/audience.
-You two becoming a team.
-You move in with him and Blind Al because you two constantly hang out anyway.
-Helping Al assemble the IKEA furniture.
-You, Weasel, Colossus, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead all become friends.
-Him teasing you relentlessly.
DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS PRESENT AND YOU ARE YOU.
Y/N, in line at a coffee shop: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhh, seven espresso shots?
Wade, right behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.
Rules:
no pedophilia or blood related incest (I dont mind step cest but it depends)
Be respectful in general especially if you want to critique my writing [please do give me advice, my goal is to be a decent writer :)]
No smut (yet), not experienced in writing smut or really comfortable with it (yet)
will add more if anything comes up
Last of us
Twisted wonderland
Arcane (mostly wlw)
Blue eye samurai
Deadpool & Wolverine
Spider-man
Danganronpa
Life is strange 1/before the storm
more will come once I play or watch it.
hey! If ur still writing could u write more deadpool x platonic reader headcannons! 🫶
Platonic deadpool headcanons are coming right up!
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.
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It's likely you met him through a job, at the bar, or through the X-Men
After Vanessa, he's very cautious when becoming friends with non-mutants. If that's the case, then it just takes some more time to get under his skin literally or metaphorically.
If you're capable enough to come with him on his jobs, he doesn't mind the company as long as you stay out of his way when he needs it.
There was once you'd walked right in front of him as he did a "super hero landing," and he'd turned to the side going. "You see this guys he ruined the shot!" He'd whined. "Wade, who are you talking to?" You'd asked, and he shook his head. "The wall... literally." You walked right in front of my landing!" You'd shrugged. "Oopsss."
From then on, you would give him a bit before you walked closer. "There we go! So badass!" He'd shouted once.
"Hey, do you know where my second gun-" He'd walked over to ask you and seeing you about to shoot someone. He'd gasped, pulling out his own gun. "Gang bang!" And you both shot the person at the same time.
"Hehe get it? Gang-bang?"
You didn't get to see his face for the first few months knowing him, and after getting in a rough spot with Al, he'd come to move in with you for a bit.
It was early morning when he'd stumbled in the kitchen, maskless, and watched your back turned making your own breakfast. "What's shakinnn baconnn?" You'd turned with a smile making Avocado toast. "Oh just avoca-" You'd noticed his maskless face and had stopped but raised an eyebrow at him, glaring at your toast. "The fuck is your problem?" He huffed walking of with a mumble of, "stupid avocados, stupid weasel." You were perplexed by that until Wes had busted out laughing when you'd mentioned it and he explained.
Walked back in your apartment covered in blood and immediately ripped his mask off, throwing his guns and other weapons on the couch before grabbing his unicorn. "I'm using your shower...then unicorn timeee~" He'd said in a showtuney voice and dodged when you threw the TV remote at him. "Fucking gross dude you don't need to announce that."
It was a little sad when he went back to Blind Al's place, but also he'd thought you'd want your place back. "Nah, dude, that place has seen so many blood stains you were right at home." You'd said one night when you'd caught up at the bar. "Oh, Metal Balls showed up looking for you, so be on the lookout for shiny Jesus as a Jehova's witness for the X-men." He huffed a laugh at the comment but then groaned. "Want to join me on my next job then?" "Fuck yeah Wilson!"
Okay I know its, like, the end of fucking July but I read your most recent deadpool hcs and now I HAVE to get the low down on how he celebrates Halloween with his s/o. Like imagine him literally ripping off his arm as part of the costume and constantly getting complimented on how "real" it looks lmao
Ok so Halloween is like my favorite holiday EVER, so the way I rushed to do this when I finally saw your ask.
He's so hype for Halloween because he can just go out as himself and not feel bad about how he looks.
Totally dressed up as Freddy Krueger just because he didn't have to do much work to make it look good.
He kept joking that he was now on par with wolverine because he did get the Kruger claws.
Another time he went as a zombie and just ripped one of his armsboff just to keep pointing at everything with it
"Accidentally" slapped someone with his dismembered limb.
He always gets so many complaints about how good he looks so that does make him feel slightly better about himself.
He kept trying to get you to dress in his Deadpool suit but you said no because "that thing is practically threaded together with cocaine at this point"
If you guys aren't walking around but instead handling out candy to kids he'll get on the roof and jump down at a lot of them.
"hey honey it's almost time to go!" You yelled towards Wade referring to a party you both were invited to a party at the academy by Colossus.
He groaned throwing on the green and red striped sweater. "It's probably gonna be boring though! I mean it's mainly going to be smart assed kids and adults with sticks up their asses!" He shouted back coming over to where you were pulling you to him by your waist. "Maybe we can just stay here instead and have our own fun."
Laughing you pushed him back. "We can have our fun later, for right now I know you love Halloween so we are going to go to this damned party. Plus don't you want to spike the punch or something." You said opening a cabinet that had stored alcohol.
He gasped offended. "I would never do such a thing! How did you even know that was in there? Not that I put it in there or anything." Leaning over you as he spoke you closed the cabinet.
You scoffed at him looking him up and down. "You totally would and you know it! You "accidentally," you held up your fingers to make a quoting gesture, "put cocaine on some donuts saying it was powdered sugar and them gave them to Logan!"
He crossed his arms with a laugh. "Yeah but I know he won't die from something like that so technically it was all in good fun!" He started laughing harder at the memory of Logan being hunched over for a bit from consuming that much of the drug in that way.
You stifled your own laughter trying to reprimand him for his actions. "Alright it was admittedly a bit funny, but there's going to be children there this year so he careful." You warned him walking over and wrapping your arms around him.
"Alright fine I won't pull to many stunts if that makes you feel better. But I better get a reward for playing nice." He grumbled picking you up to place you on the counter.
You shrugged your shoulders pulling him in by his shirt collar. "I don't know maybe if you're on your best behavior I'll give you one." You murmured against his lips before crashing yours to his.
He pulled you closer to himself wrapping your legs around his waist before kissing you back with fervor. He pulled away smirking at you "can't keep your hands off me for long can you?"
You rolled your eyes pushing him off and hopping off the counter. "Nope not when it comes to you Wade, now let's get to that party!"
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
Deadpool's reaction to s/o wanting to learn sarcasm as they don't understand it.
I honestly admit I have no clue how to write for this ask so I did my best. Please let me know if it is not sufficient.
"you don't understand sarcasm?" Wade asked in response to you not understanding a sentence he has said. "Well I didn't mean that literally. Sarcasm is kind of like expressing that you don't like something without outright saying it I guess? Or just a way to mess with someone." He shrugged wrapping his arms around you from behind snaking his hands into your shirt. "I actually don't quite know how to explain it.
You nodded your head turning around to face him. "So is it kinda like the phrase "no shit Sherlock?" If so it's just a way to annoy someone or just to add more sass to a comment?" You looked down to where he stuffed his face into your stomach.
He lifted his head up slightly to meet your questioning stare. "I mean yeah I suppose that makes sense. I actually don't know how to explain it. Kinda just comes naturally to me." He muttered putting his head under your shirt this time. He chuckled darkly before starting to blow raspberries against your belly.
You started giggling taking your arms from around him to instead try and push him away. "Wade enough quit that!" You said in between breaths as he lifted you up throwing you on the couch. "I'm serious quit tickling me!"
"you see as much as I'd love to do that," he paused leaning up to tap his lip, "quite frankly I don't want to!" He shouted reaching his hands back under your shirt to resume his ministrations. "Oh there you go that's an example of sarcasm! I actually wouldn't love to stop tickling you!"
You grabbed his face pulling him down to kiss you and he stopped in his tracks. "Ok lesson learned professor now will you please quit?" You peered up at him sweetly.
He smirked placing both of his hands on the sides of your head. "Now when you ask like that how could I say no?" He murmurs leaning down to kiss you again before moving kisses down your jaw to your neck....
As short as that was I hope it suffices. Apologies for being so late!
✨🐟TUNA-TOBER FIC DETECTED 🐟✨
✨🐟CALCULATING... CALCULATING... 🐟✨
✨🐟PROMPT FILLED: THREESOME 🐟✨
✨🐟Find the rest of the Tuna-Tober prompts here, and remember to follow to see what other prompt fics these writers might drop this October!🐟 ✨
going a bit off script on day 2 because i'm a HEATHEN anyway enjoy
Ship: Worst!Logan Howlett x f!Reader x Wade Wilson
Rating: 18+
Wordcount: 776
Warnings: cursing, smut, threesome, Wade Wilson is his own warning, unprotected PiV, anal (f!receiving), use of petnames, kissing, cocaine mention
Series: Leg's Tuna Tober
Your mind was fucking shattered.
Deep, guttural grunts rumbled from Logan beneath you with every deliberate thrust. Sharp canines scraped along your overheated skin. Whispers of "you're doing so good, baby" filtered from between his clenched teeth. His sweat-drenched skin was nearly sticking to yours due to your proximity. Barely a centimeter of space was left between the two of you.
It didn't help that Wade was on top of you, thrusting into you from behind, bearing his full weight on you as his hands fisted in the sheets. His wet tongue traced down your spine. Shivers erupted across your back in brutal waves.
"That's a good girl. Taking us so well. Isn't she, Wolvie?" Wade mused, voice muffled from where his lips connected with your skin. You gasped as a quick hitch in Wade's thrust nearly jostled Logan out of you.
"Watch it, red," Logan growled quietly. His large palms clung to your hips in near desperation. Gripping at your skin so tight you knew there'd be bruises in the morning. Not that you minded.
A light laugh rumbled against your back, "Feeling possessive, are we, Lo? Afraid I'll take our sunflower away from you?"
"Just shut up and fuck her, will you?" Logan said over your shoulder. He pressed a quick "sorry" behind your ear with a gentle kiss. You couldn't help the quiet moan that leaked from your throat.
"Let's make a game of it, shall we?" was all the warning Wade gave before he suddenly pulled out. You whined at how empty you now felt, craving both of them inside you every waking moment of your life. Wade ran a gentle hand down your back, "Shh, it's alright, angel cakes. I just wanna see if Lo-Lo's up to the task."
"The fuck is wrong with you, Wade?" Logan asked, propping himself up on his elbows to throw the merc a heavy glare. Now no one was focused on fucking you. You muttered obscenities under your breath as you buried your nose in Logan's shoulder. These two couldn't stop bickering for five minutes, let alone a whole night with just the three of you.
"I just wanted to challenge you, Mr.Not-a-Duke. Which of us do you think can make our sunbeam here come the fastest?" Wade offered with a cocky grin you could hear.
Logan scoffed, shaking his head, "I think you already know the answer to that."
"Yeah, and it'd be me," Wade returned.
"You must've taken some brain damage, because you know it'd be me," Logan bit back.
You groaned against Logan's neck, then nipped at the thin skin under his jaw, "Will someone please just fuck me?"
A shudder rolled over Logan's shoulders. He peered down at you through narrowed eyes. You could practically feel the seconds tick by as he remained still, just staring at you. Unease settled around your ribs. Logan was an impossible man to read, even at the best of times. When his pupils were blown, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, and his cock was inside you, it was even more difficult to gauge what he was thinking.
"Start a timer," he instructed Wade, gaze never leaving you. Arousal reignited in your abdomen like a stoked bonfire.
"Yes sir," Wade said with a wide smile. You heard rustling behind you as Wade grabbed one of the three phones on the nightstand.
The world spun without warning as you were flipped on your back. A gust of air shot from your lungs at the impact with the bed. Soft lips brushed along the skin under the hinge of your jaw.
"Go easy on me, huh? Wanna prove Wade wrong," Logan whispered in your ear. Flames licked at your skin, goosebumps rising in the wake of the Wolverine's gentle touch. Callused fingers grazed over you as light as feathers.
"I haven't started the timer yet, cheater! Any more unsportsmanlike behavior and I'll lock you out," Wade groused loudly. Logan breathed a chuckle along your collarbone.
"I'll just break the door down," he said as he threw you a wink. It took every bone in your body to keep your eyes from rolling back in your head.
"Break another door and Blind Al'll hide the cocaine again. When she hides shit, that stuff stays gone," Wade mumbled indignantly. Logan ignored the merc, fingers trailing ever-so slowly down your sensitive skin. A choked moan kicked out of your chest when Logan's thigh brushed against your swollen clit. Wade's wrinkled hand entered your periphery as he tapped on Logan's cheek, "Did you hear me, resident senior citizen? No cheating!"
It was going to be a long, long night.
may need to continue this in a future fic...