JORGE IS THINKING ABOUT MAKING AN ILIAD MUSICAL IN THE FUTURE HELLOOOO??????

And just like that.. I’m back on my Bucky Barnes bullshit.

chapter 4/8 now available on AO3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), avengers (2012)

→ bucky x steve

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ faked relationship, canon-typical violence, amputation

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Steve's head whipped toward him. “You told me you didn't tell anyone you had it.”

“Why didn't you tell me what Zola did?” Steve asked from the couch that had become his bed after Peggy's funeral.

Bucky knew it would come up at some point.

He kept his back to Steve as he answered, “I never told anyone.”

“- and the Tesseract is no different. Just because America has it now doesn't mean it isn't any less dangerous or that you have better intentions -”

“Bucky!” Steve said louder, harder.

He snapped, turning on him so fast his hair flew over his forehead. “What?”

“You lied to me.”

“You should take a deep, hard look at yourself and ask yourself why.”

For the first time since before the ice, Bucky looked into the eyes of the bloodthirsty Captain America. And Tony just had to push. “Ooh, someone's still pissy he got benched."

Rely On Time

Wherein I'm a whore for Jewish Bucky Barnes and love writing things inspired by religions and myths.

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2023

Bucky had never truly felt alone in the world.

Of course, as the Winter Soldier, he hadn't had much of a consciousness to even consider that idea. Even when he was in Azzano, he had his men. Strapped to Zola's table in experimentation, the idea of being alone hadn't mattered so much, knowing he would be dead. Before the war, he had Steve.

Steve.

Fastened to his side, Steve had always been there. It had been a month, and he still couldn't believe it. That he would leave so easily, after all they had gone through. But that was just it, wasn't it? Steve had time taken away from him, had his freedom stripped under the stripes of that shield in an attempt to fight for the freedoms of others. Of course he would choose to go back for a second chance.

Bucky didn't have that option.

Eve was her own being, her own thoughts. Though fashioned from Adam's rib, she was not him. Her own desire lived within her and the snake knew it. But why is that a sin? The pursuit of Knowledge in the name of growth, even at the risk of disobeying God? Could it have been what He intended all along? He planted the Tree, he created the snake, he fashioned humanity knowing they would question it all - all for humankind to learn and grow, to plant their roots alongside the Tree.

He wondered, sometimes, what he was. Was he a collection of thoughts? Are people only the recollections of times past? He walked as living proof of not only a time that no longer was, but the strength of a people who lived despite all odds.

Despite all odds.

Was that all it was? Random chance? Did he ever fight anything? No choice but to accept the draft. Too sick to fight Zola back, barely lucid enough to keep himself from biting off his tongue. The chair, the abuse, was that all some twisted fate that he had to live through because it was meant to happen? Did all that happen so he could be where he was now, laying on cold hardwood floor because he was falling through his bed?

Could he rely on time, when it was ripped from him?

He sometimes thought about what his life could've ended up like, if he hadn't gone to war. He thought, at one point, that he would get married. As Adam and Eve wed under the Tree, he could stand under the chuppah in their image surrounded by love and life and foliage. Sometimes he thought about what it could be now, if things somehow got better. If he could sleep in his bed without drowning. If he could look a man in the eye and not see his ancestors instead.

Could he be a shadow?

Something that varies, melding and changing. If he was made of memories, what would happen if he forgot again? Hands of Esau but Voice of Jacob. Was he now building to the divine Israel? Making up for his wrongs, turning to virtue.

Was it worth it? Trying?

At this point, what could be good? What all could he love? Everything was a mess. He wandered.

Maybe he was meant to be lost. He could choose to believe he was worthless, aimless without his other half. Or he could make his own choices; eat the apple like Eve, take the virtue like Israel, and trust that someday, everything that happened to him would make sense.

And that one day, he could trust that he wouldn't ever be alone again.

filtering down ao3 results from 14000 to 6 based on a single tag is foul. im sorry none of you are as enlightened as me ig.

oh theyre about to have the best sex imaginable i bet

chapter 1/4 now available on A03

→ supernatural (tv 2005), pre-series

→ exploration of dean's bisexuality and trauma, over time

the list of canon/actor’s theories/accidentally canon plotlines this mini fic touches on:

→ Jensen’s thought that at some point when John didn't leave his sons enough money, Dean would reach a level of desperation that forces him to sell himself.

→ The theory that John taught Dean how to dig himself out of a grave, due to how he was able to in Lazarus Rising (04x01)

→ The passage in John Winchester's published journal, detailing Dean's first solo case for two dead homosexual nuns and how it didn't go very well.

→ The alternate plotline that was almost canon, where John Winchester went missing because Dean had killed him.

→ When John got too pissed off at Dean, he'd send him away on hunts (14x12)

→ In early seasons, Jensen acted for Dean to sing badly. But in season 15, he sings well with Lee. Backstory? I think yes.

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The double doors slammed open behind them, startling both boys. Dean whirled around in his seat to find Dad marching through, an angry look on his face. He was still scratched up from the recent hunt he'd done, claw marks scraped over his forehead, through his beard. He still hasn't shaved it, but Dean wanted him to. It was getting hard for him to look at. He never liked seeing his dad injured from a hunt, or injuring himself.

Six years, they had done this. Living on the road. Brief stays at Uncle Bobby’s. Living on diner food, vending machines, stolen credit cards; living in motel rooms, no home to their name.

Dean straightened up in the wooden chair. “Are we heading out?” he asked.

“You’re staying here.” Dad scooped up a duffel bag and was gone, the screen door rattling in the frame as he threw it shut behind him.

That Captain America Healing Factor is all well and good until someone on the team has to pin Steve down and re-break his arm because they didn’t splint it in time and it healed wrong. Until they have to dig a knife into his face and pull out glass fragments that his skin healed over in five minutes flat. Until he has to have surgery wide awake because no anaesthetic works and the only other option is a leather belt between his teeth and useless platitudes like its going to be okay Steve, I promise, it’ll be over soon.

Odysseus after ten years of suffering, picking up Poseidon’s trident: Traumatize them back :)

Poseidon: Hey… Buddy… can we talk about this?

Odysseus: No :)

chapter 3/8 now available on AO3 <3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), avengers (2012)

→ bucky x steve

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ canon-typical violence

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Bucky’s mind swelled with panic at the implication - Peggy, Monty - people he loved were dead all at once - but he had to take it in stride. He had to. There was no purpose to dwell on it. If he thought about it all too hard, he wouldn't be able to get through it.

What happened, happened.

He'd process it later. He had to accept it.

“Captain Rogers woke up about an hour and a half ago.” Agent Barton shared. If he noticed Bucky's barely buried alarm, he didn't say. “Director Fury handled him. He broke out and ran into Times Square.”

“Sounds like him,” he said, monotone.

“He's in a conference room. Fury's asked me to bring you once you're ready, so he can speak to you both.”

That made him come to mostly full attention. “He's not detained?”

Clint's head cocked to the side. “Neither of you are detained, Sergeant.”

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. They didn't know? How could they not know?

chapter 2/8 now available on AO3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), captain america: the first avenger

→ bucky x steve, bucky x peggy

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ gore, faked relationship, canon-typical violence

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He aimed and fired at the soldiers as he ducked behind the shelves at the side of the room, unfortunately cornered but thankful for a shield regardless. He was more than able to hold his own, and he was sure of that -

His fucking gun jammed.

“Stop him!”

He knew that voice.

The fear settled over him like a blanket. Every single worry he had for this mission, it layered in his head as Zola’s voice pinged around.

You'll fail your mission.

Zola will have you again - he'll - the new fist of Hydra -

He gasped, his breath shuddering in his lungs.

Steve will get out alive, no one else can stop him but you - ain't that a fucking tragedy -

Would he save you from Zola twice?