Rely On Time

chapter 6/8 now available on A03

→ marvel (mcu/comic), post-avengers 2012

→ bucky x steve

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ canon-typical violence, bucky makes friends in the 21st century

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At first he felt like he was back in Basic; running miles every day on the beach, using new muscles to manage the unsteady terrain; getting knocked on his ass by Agent Barton with hand-to-hand, which Sergeant Barnes - plucked straight out of World War II - had a minimal understanding of beyond his boxing history. Tony was more than eager to get in the ring with Bucky - a literal ring, Bucky had found out once Tony showed him the at home gym - wearing boxing gloves overtop their wrapped knuckles.

When he couldn't sleep and needed to move, he found himself back in the gym. He was training nearly every day every week, but he couldn't put more than average strength on anyone unless Tony was in his suit. And unfortunately, after Tony's metal leg went straight through the ceiling, Bucky was grounded while the ceiling was knocked out and the bedroom above the gym was erased from existence. But at night? He could hammer the punching bags until they split and he was drenched in sweat, gasping for breath.

What isn't there to love about the idea of MCU Bucky becoming Captain America?

It's the right thing to do, isn't it? He was the one who watched him fall. (He tried to catch him but he only caught his tags. The bitter cold tore him away in the blink of an eye, with a scream that Bucky hears when he tries to sleep.) Steve was the best of them both, and if he thought this cause was one to die for, then Bucky would finish it. He's followed him this far, hasn't he? Long enough for the bruises Zola gave him to fade, but not enough that hearing his voice in that train wouldn't make him freeze. (What if he finds him? What if he go back there, strapped down, poked and prodded and injected with God knows what -)

But besides that?

There's nothing.

He's known Steve almost his entire life. He barely remembers a time where there wasn't Steve. He once had him to himself, only he saw the goodness in him, he loved him first, but now he shared it with the world. Because of some holy serum; but the bastardized version of the same thing ran in his own veins, and Bucky knew deep down that he would never be Steve. He could try, but he could never be him to the world.

So why wouldn't he crash that plane?

He never wanted to be a weapon. But he wakes up, and it's asked of him again. Be a soldier. Be an officer. Be Captain America. His gun was an extension of himself, the shield of Steve, and he would never, ever drop either of them. (Not again. He dreamt of it, that scream still scratched into his brain no matter how much time had actually passed, seventy years or seven days.)

And then, one day, beyond his wildest dreams, he'd see him again. But this? This hollow ghost? This isn't the Steve he knows and loves. But he slips from his fingers again,

And on that helicarrier, the glass cracks beneath his feet, bullet wounds and serrated skin and black bruises, but he still has it in him - he catches him. Metal fingers that were foreign to him, but still, Steve.

Never again. Never without him.

santa saw you reading all that gay porn

🌻 about me

av/cap, he/him

I'm an aspiring author and I use fanfic as exercises and to help with writer's block (: I have been writing for 10+ years, have led technical support groups for writers, won state competitions, and I also display original work at local art shows alongside my other traditional art.

I sometimes draw fanart, but I have an art business now so it's not super frequent.

@feathersatwar literally everywhere, even the accounts I no longer use.

archive of our own - all my big multichapter fics are available here

I may decide to use my instagram again, I'll link it if I do

🌒 what to expect?

marvel/mcu (mixing the mcu and comics are the best fanfic sweet spot) - stucky, winterwidow, etc

supernatural - destiel

the occasional percy jackson mood

epic the musical ✨

even though I don't write much outside of marvel and supernatural, I reblog stuff I like (:

I love writing anxiety, gore, romance, and action. What if universes are my playground.

I'm the captain of two trains:

→ captain barnes. I love the universe idea of if steve fell in the alps and bucky took up the shield to finish off the red skull.

→ jewish bucky. I'm jewish, sebastian stan is part jewish, bucky was likely from an immigrant family, and I tend to write bucky at varying degrees of faith/culture participation in different fics. If you have an issue with that, excuse yourself - this is a zero tolerance zone for bigotry of any kind.

THE MASTERLIST

not including old works on ao3, unless I have reposted them here

🪽 destiel

my destiel playlist | turning page

❄️ stucky

definitions of rage | ao3 dark!steve mini-fic

🌿 bucky barnes one shots

rely on time | bucky barnes drabble

40s captain barnes, a concept

🔴 misc marvel drabbles

soldier of the moon | moon knight character study

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

"i don't comment on ao3 because i don't wanna be annoying or weird" skill issue + you greatly underestimate the power dynamic here, writing multi paragraph comments is like feeding a bunch of deeply insane and possibly starved ducks at the park and watch them go completely mad over having received a piece of bread

chapter 3/8 now available on AO3 <3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), avengers (2012)

→ bucky x steve

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ canon-typical violence

──────────────────

Bucky’s mind swelled with panic at the implication - Peggy, Monty - people he loved were dead all at once - but he had to take it in stride. He had to. There was no purpose to dwell on it. If he thought about it all too hard, he wouldn't be able to get through it.

What happened, happened.

He'd process it later. He had to accept it.

“Captain Rogers woke up about an hour and a half ago.” Agent Barton shared. If he noticed Bucky's barely buried alarm, he didn't say. “Director Fury handled him. He broke out and ran into Times Square.”

“Sounds like him,” he said, monotone.

“He's in a conference room. Fury's asked me to bring you once you're ready, so he can speak to you both.”

That made him come to mostly full attention. “He's not detained?”

Clint's head cocked to the side. “Neither of you are detained, Sergeant.”

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. They didn't know? How could they not know?

Odysseus after ten years of suffering, picking up Poseidon’s trident: Traumatize them back :)

Poseidon: Hey… Buddy… can we talk about this?

Odysseus: No :)

fanfic writing culture isn’t “oh dang! I wanted to write about this prompt with this character but someone else already wrote it, so now I can’t”.

fanfic writing culture is always “two cakes is better than one. the more the merrier. there can ever be enough fics of this character with this prompt!”

thinking about the moment bucky says “let’s hear it for captain america!” and he looks so damn proud and then his face drops so damn fast, because fuck, he doesn’t get to be selfish anymore. doesn’t get to keep steve’s irrevocable goodness all to himself. and he knew this day would come, but he’s furious because it took a goddamn serum for someone to give a shit enough to look. and he wants to burn the world down, because they don’t deserve steve even if they need him, but bucky’s goddamn selfish, because he’s known. he’s known just what steve rogers could do since the moment he fell for the back of his head at 7 years old.