Elemental - Blog Posts

𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥, 𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕎𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 - ℝ𝕠𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕆𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕓𝕒𝕝 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

CHAPTER 2

TW!: child death / miscarriage / blood

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Blood. The sheets are covered in blood and so are my legs but I can’t get up. I’m in a strangers bed, five months pregnant and there’s a pool of blood around me. All I had done was agreed to let Roland take me home and sleep in a warm apartment for the first time in days and now my baby was gone. Was it because I betrayed Steven? Is this what I deserved? How would Roland, a man I barely knew and trusted on a whim, react to finding my bloody body lying next to him? I knew I should cry for my now dead child but instead all I could think about was the ruined sheets. I must be in shock but those damn sheets…he would have to burn them and I would have to buy him new ones and I barely had enough money to eat.

Roland began to stir on the other side of the bed and I forced myself to sit up and fall out of the bed. The falling part was an accident but what did it matter? Baby was dead and I deserved to be in pain.

“SALEM WHAT HAPPENED?!” Roland yelled in horror when he discovered the pool of blood next to him. At that point I was gone, so fucking gone.

“I-I’m so sorry Roland, I’ll buy you new sheets. I’ll clean it up and then leave. I’m so so so sorry.” Sorry, that’s all I could say, overs and over again. The sheets. I felt so bad about the sheets. And I felt like such and idiot for messing them up. And the mattress was probably ruined by now too. I would have to buy him another mattress which would be far more expensive than the sheets.

Roland jumped up and instantly wrapped his arms around me trying to get me to calm down and explain what happened.

“I-I think I had a miscarriage.” It was the first time I had said that vile word out load since I had woken up and dipped my fingers into my daughters blood.

“I’m so sorry Roland I feel like this is just some awful nightmare. I’m so sorry about the bed.” I again turned to see the messy sheets.

“Don’t you dare apologize. I don’t care about these sheets. This isn’t your fault. I’m here with you every step of the way.” Roland hugged me in a way that felt so genuine. A sort of warm hug I had never felt but had dreamed of since I was a young girl.

Roland had introduced himself and sat down beside me in the library. I felt so nervous being next to such a pretty man that I almost forgot to tell him my name.

“Oh I’m Salem.” I giggled nervously.

“Come here often Salem?” Roland rested his hand on his cheek and smiled at me. His deep brown eyes seemed to shine with the reflection of myself staring back at him. I felt so unattractive and yet I wanted him so bad. I had always jumped into the arms of any man that would have me and that’s probably how I ended up pregnant and homeless. But then as I began to talk to Roland I noticed a faint blush beginning to get redder on his cheeks. He was wearing the cutest sweater with a scarf and a long overcoat that made him look like a cute little schoolboy.

I explained most of my situation to him and the crazy thing was, he actually sat and listened to every word of it. He didn’t interrupt or tell me I got what I deserved, he just sat and nodded and occasionally gave me words of encouragement.

After several hours of rambling on about my miserable childhood, my poor taste in men and my current state of having no where to stay, Roland suggested that I stay at least one night in his apartment since he “couldn’t bare the thought of letting a young girl in your condition sleep on the street again tonight.” He promised that he had no ill intentions and I felt that his eyes seemed to reflect his honesty. So I walked with him, arms full of books, to my car where he drove me to his apartment. The whole night was spent laughing and eating a tray of left over lasagna that Roland had made. Never once had he tried to touch me or even so much as kiss me. He just hugged me cautiously goodnight as I climbed in his bed next to him.

That was when I was happy. But now I sat on his bedroom floor crying hysterically.

“I-I’m sorry Roland I barely know you and I just…I don’t know what to do” I sobbed. He gently placed his hand on my shoulder and brushed some hair away from my face.

“Please don’t apologize. We’re going to get through this together.” I looked down at my stomach and felt like vomiting. My thoughts were starting to become clearer and my mind turned its attention away from the bloody sheets I had been desperately grasping on to and now to the thoughts of the little baby I had lost. For months now I had been dreaming of holding her for the first time and playing with her as she happily waved her little fingers in the air.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” I whisper softly. “Just let it out. Let all the sadness and pain come out. Cry as much as you need to.” His words seemed to mix together with the loud voices in my head screaming at me.

“I’m going to take you to the doctor okay.” He said and gently picked me up. I was a mess, blood stained clothes and legs that felt disgusting. I felt like a murderer. I did this to my daughter and anyway she deserved better.

The doctor only told me what I already knew and so I spent the car ride back to Roland’s apartment feeling numb. I should call Steven, the voices in my head kept whispering. He deserves to know that his daughter is dead. But did he even care? I had likely lost the baby due to stress and lack of nourishment. Maybe if Steven hadn’t kicked me out I wouldn’t have been stressed or starving. Maybe if I had been with a better man I wouldn’t have been in this situation.

Roland stopped at the library so I could call Steven. After a few rings he picked up.

“Hello?” He said in that rough voice that had once given me butterflies.

“Steven? It’s me Salem.” I chocked back a sob.

“Didnt I tell you to never speak to me or show your face her again you fucking whore.” I couldn’t hold back, I let out a strangled sob as Steven continued to list all of the reasons as to why I was the problem and how I ruined his life.

“Steven….I had a miscarriage.” I said despite the fact that he was still talking. He couldn’t hit me here. The distance and the fact that Roland was sitting in his car waiting for me made me feel safe.

“Good riddance to you and that kid, would’ve turned out just as ugly and probably twice the slut you are.” He then slammed the phone down on the receiver and the line went silent.

It was over. Steven had made it clear that he didn’t want me. And now I was not only single I was also no longer pregnant. I slowly walked back to Roland’s car and tried not to start crying.

“You okay?” He asked cautiously.

“N-no”, I wiped away the tears that were forming, “he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I hate to say it Salem, but isn’t that a good thing? You can start over now.” I looked at him and he weakly smiled back at me.

“I guess.” I whispered.

“Tell you what”, Roland said in his deep English accent, “me and you could be roommates and I’ll help you find a job.” I knew he was trying to help me and that I couldn’t just sit around and pity myself all day so I agreed.

As he drove out of the parking lot I whispered, “I was going to name her Mia.”

𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥, 𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕎𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 - ℝ𝕠𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕆𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕓𝕒𝕝 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

CHAPTER 1

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I leaned into the car mirror and tried my best to reapply the smudged eyeliner under my already tired brown eyes. I still had half an hour before I had to be at work and no where to go. My current boyfriend, Steven, had kicked me out of the house for the fourth time this month leaving me with nothing but my car and whatever was already lying around in my backseat.

I put the cap back in the eyeliner and leaned back in the seat, sighing heavily to myself. I was a cashier at a gas station and was barely making enough money to support myself much less my good for nothing boyfriend. Oh he liked to pretend that he was married to me and had some sort of control over me, and for the most part that was true, but I refused to marry him if all he was going to do was sit around the apartment all day and abuse me verbally. He used to hit me but ever since I got pregnant that had stoped. Still, he would make remarks about my changing body and how I would be unattractive after I gave birth to “baby”. That’s what I was calling it for now. I knew it was going to be a girl but I still refers to her simply as “baby” because I didn’t want to think about how in just a few months I would have to raise a child in an abusive home. My heart hurt everyday for this little girl inside me who would have to suffer just like I did and it was all my fault.

I rubbed my hands over my face and looked at the time, 3:50pm. It was still ten minutes too early to clock in so I decided to eat a bag of chips and try to not think about all of the chaos that was going on in my life.

After finishing the chips I threw on a large jacket and climbed out of the car and walked into the store. My job was another thing that I hated. The boss was an asshole and barely paid me enough to get by. Today I only worked from 4 to 8 with just one other person there. It was incredibly dangerous for a pregnant woman and a teenage girl to run a gas station alone at night but the boss didn’t care.

I put my apron on and pulled out a stool for me to sit down since it was hard for me to stand all day.

“Salem, I need to speak with you.” The boss called from his office that was behind the counter. I groaned to myself and got up to go see what drama he was going to start today.

“I’m sorry but I won’t be needing you to come in but two days a week 4 to 8 as usual.” He said coldly.

“WHAT???” I almost screamed. “I’m barely making a hundred dollars a week and you know I have a kid on the way. How am I supposed to survive?!” I was starting to turn red from anger.

The boss just shook his head. “There’s nothing I can do, we’ve been slow in the evenings and I just don’t need you here.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I fucking quit.” I said and took off the apron. Steven would be furious when he found out but I needed to get a better job anyway.

“I’ll be here next week to pick up my check.” I turned around before the boss could say anything and left the store. It felt like such a relief to finally be out of that situation but I still couldn’t help but worry about where I was going to find more work to support Stevens lazy ass as well as baby who would be here in less than 4 months. I needed help and I needed to get away from Steven but the baby made it harder then ever to even consider leaving him. Baby needed a father in her life as well as a mother who wasn’t constantly being abused and I knew I couldn’t give her that but I also couldn’t give up on her.

My cars headlights hit the poorly lit library parking lot as I pulled up to the sidewalk and turned the car off. I locked the doors and climbed into the backseat to lie down. My phone was dead and I was almost out of gas. It was far less than ideal for a pregnant woman to be sleeping alone in her car in a parking lot but I didn’t have anything better to be doing.

As I laid there in the cold, dark car I began to cry. I hadn’t cried in a long time and all of the pain had been building up for so long. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t put my daughter through this. I believed in soulmates and yet I still chose to be with a man that I knew wasn’t meant for me. But how could things ever get better? I could run away, I could abandon my daughter but I wouldn’t deserve love after that. Surely there was someone out there who was meant to be with me like a piece in a puzzle made specifically to fit with another. Were they just as miserable as me right now? Could we ever find each other?

The next morning I woke up to find that I had cried myself to sleep in the freezing backseat of my car. I needed to get gas and find somewhere that I could stay and be safer then I was on the street. The only problem was that I only had a $20 bill on me and nothing else.

I started the car and drove the a gas station with the cheapest gas and got $10 worth of gas so that I would still have $10 for food. Not eating wasn’t an option since I was pregnant so I had to force myself to find enough food to keep baby healthy.

After I got gas and bought a few cheap salads and drinks I decided that the safest place for me to go was the now open library. At least there I could read and not be harassed as much as I could be just wandering around on the streets. The library itself was a large castle like building that had a pay phone and plenty of places to sit down or use the bathroom if I needed to. Normally I would stay there until it was close to time for me to go to work but today I had hours and hours to kill here.

There was a cute little sitting area that was in the children’s section that I spent most days reading horror novels or whatever the newest romance book was out in the front lobby. I was a huge sucker for romances and all of the cliches that filled pages and pages of the books that I picked up. I hadn’t been much of a reader until I had become for the most part homeless but sitting in the library made me want to drown out my sorrows in some sappy romance or ever the wildest psychological horror novel. I also found myself staring at the play area and imagining my daughter playing there. It would be so much harder when she was born. I wouldn’t be able to survive on just a few dollars a day and I certainly couldn’t let Steven hurt her. It was all too much to handle and I didn’t want to think about it anymore, I just wished the problem could somehow solve itself. But it was so much more complicated than that.

Wandering through the shelves of the romance section I traced my finger along the spines of each book before pulling one out. Much to my surprise I found myself staring into the eyes of the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. He had the prettiest lips and curly black hair that I could only dream of running my fingers through. He looked just as startled as I was and so we stood there a moment, staring into one another’s eyes and thinking of what to say or do next.

“I-I’m sorry miss.” The man whispered in the deepest accent that drove me crazy. I didn’t really feel bad for being attracted to him since Steven was barely even my boyfriend and he hadn’t so much as touched me in an affectionate way since I got pregnant. It hadn’t occurred to me, but I had been craving the attention or hell, even the love of another human being. Sure I loved baby and had her with me but I wanted someone that would hold me and listen to me cry, someone who could understand all of the chaos and make me feel better. Ever since my mom had lost custody of me at just four years old I had been in and out of foster homes, running away just to get drug back and abused until I finally aged out and found myself on the street with barely any money or place to go. It was scary and I was broken and I think that’s why I jumped at the first opportunity to get in a relationship with a man I had met at a homeless shelter. He was clearly on drugs and could get violent at times but at first he was kind to me and I would spend my days daydreaming about a life where I was happily married to this man. But then when I had finally saved up enough money to get and apartment he began to get violent with me. He hit me and shamed me day in and day out but then he would be loving and hold me as I cried. He would make me believe that I was just being dramatic about the abuse and that this is how all couples fought. I was too naïve to know any better and when I found out that I was going to have a baby, our baby, I realized that I couldn’t do this anymore. But here stood a man with kind eyes and a gorgeous face and I couldn’t help but want to be loved by him.

“It’s fine.” I smiled and tried not to think about how awful I must have looked.

“I see you’re into romance novels?” He asked shyly.

“Yeah it’s kinda cheesy I guess but I love reading about two people falling in love and being happy together no matter what.” I was starting to ramble and decided to shut up before I scared him off.

“I like them too,” he laughed softly,”want to sit at a table with me and we can talk about them?” I nodded and walked to a nearby table while the man walked around the shelf towards me.

“Oh woah.” He softly whispered when he saw my stomach.

“Im sorry I had no idea you were…you know….uhhh.” He was starting to tense up.

“Oh no it’s fine. Yes I’m pregnant but my boyfriend kicked me out a few days ago so I guess the relationship is over.” I looked down at my stomach and blushed. It was suddenly embarrassing to admit that I was in such an awful situation. The man didn’t say anything he just sat down next to me and smiled sympathetically.

“That’s terrible that a young girl like you should have to suffer because of some asshole like him. Anyone who would throw a pregnant girl out on the street is pure evil.” He must have noticed the tears that were beginning to roll down my cheeks because he carefully brushed his hand under my eyes, moving the tears from my face.

“I’m Roland by the way.”

OCCULTSTARR MASTERLIST

·:༺ ♱✮♱ ༻:·

ℙ𝕀ℕ𝕂 𝔽𝕃𝕆𝕐𝔻

★ Divine - Nick Mason x reader

⌞ Nick Mason is the cute drummer of Pink Floyd. Unfortunately, the whole band is bankrupt, so Nick, David, and Roger move into an apartment with David’s friend. ⌝

1 CHAPTER 1

2 CHAPTER 2

3 CHAPTER 3

4 CHAPTER 4

5 CHAPTER 5

★ Love on the Air - David Gilmour x reader

⌞David was looking for love / Like the very first time /Didn't realize love never left him. ⌝

1 CHAPTER 1

2 CHAPTER 2

★ Take It Back - David Gilmour x Reader

⌞He’s lied to her, he’s spied on her, and made promises he couldn’t keep. But then she finally breaks, and David isn’t sure where to go from here, but through the uncertainty, he always knew deep down that she’d take it back someday. ⌝

1 ONESHOT

★ This Means War, Roger - Roger Waters x Reader

⌞“You love me.” You teased. You hadn’t really meant anything by it but as soon as you said it you blushed. Roger glanced at you and shook his head. “What’s it like being a delusional bitch?” Roger asked just loud enough for you to hear him. You glared at him. That was the relationship between you and Roger, arch enemies from the moment you laid eyes on each other. But what if secretly Roger finds himself falling in love with you even if he says he hates you?⌝

1 CHAPTER 1

2 CHAPTER 2

3 CHAPTER 3

4 CHAPTER 4

5 CHAPTER 5 

6 CHAPTER 6

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ℚ𝕌𝔼𝔼ℕ

★ Don't Take Me for Granted - Roger Taylor x reader

⌞S*x with Roger is so.... boring? It's just that you've come to expect it almost nightly, and that's not any fun, or that's what you thought a month ago, now you'd do anything for him to touch you. ⌝

1 ONESHOT - NSFW!

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𝕋𝔼𝔸ℝ𝕊 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝔽𝔼𝔸ℝ𝕊

★ Just, Just Wasting Time - Roland Orzabal x Reader

⌞Salem Morove is in need of a knight in shining armor or perhaps an English boy destined to become a star? Either way, she’s desperate to get out of an abusive relationship and finally find her soulmate even in the midst of loss and chaos. ⌝

1 CHAPTER 1

2 CHAPTER 2

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𝕄𝔼𝔾𝔸𝔻𝔼𝕋ℍ

★ Had Enough of Me Yet? - Dave Mustaine

1 ONESHOT - NSFW!

Agni!

I will be exploring the design of this character in this post!!

The title is just a place holder... for a fire elemental character I made, in my Delusion magic system world.

Simplification of the Magic system, all beliefs of a person that they hold absolutely no contradiction for, to that idea, in themself, is somehow made manifest in my bronze age based world!!! The only limit is they cannot break the law of conservation of information.

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Agni was one of the first to perfect his delusion.

His delusion? That fire is chaos...

These kinda ideas cannot really be contradicted cause chaos can mean whatever... A malleable abstract idea... Cause I don't think fire has an empirical information called chaos... So it's a delusional idea (chaos) being labeled in reality with the medium of a real thing (fire)...

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The back story for this delirius character is that he lost something or someone important to fire... And his life has been a constant struggle where he is working towards something, but always meets setbacks due to unforeseen factors which overwhelms him and/or induces PTSD for plot reasons...

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So, whenever his brain goes nuts, failing to create cohesive thoughts...

HE LEAKS PURE PLASMA.

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If Fire = chaos. Chaotic state of mind makes him see the world in a chaotic fashion, which means his simulation of the world in his prefrontal cortex will introduce the simulation of fire in this chaotic state... Delusion manifesting... Superimpose the mentally simulated fire onto the narrative! Fire!

Not all Delusion are manifested... Most people just experience extra sensory stuff... Or are skilled artisans with wisdom of first hand experience (experience in terms of mental circuitry, making the act instinctual)... You guys can see my first magic system in my profile for another example of a system of delusion magic...

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Going back to the state of his brain, specifically his current loss of cohesive thought...

This state can be caused by so many things... From Lack of necessary resources like sodium ions, to excessive blood loss, to just being, boring ol' reliable, shocked enough from confusion or concussion... To just analyze paralysis caused by being overwhelmed...

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In this state, if he's not knocked out cold...

He will leak FIRE!!!

From his epidemic lining....

Assume its like sweating but instead of sweat beads, it's tongues of outward slithering fire!!

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The energy has to come from somewhere... So for now lets go with the chemical energy stored in his body...

And its obviously also burns him... Hmm... Maybe the tongues of flame SURROUNDS him... rather than come directly from his skin... So its just heat at first that he generates and has to somehow tolerate...

But that also means he breaths in a lot of Carbon monoxide... Hmm... He just has to live with it I guess...

And he could probably choose where it leaks from? That would need some concentration... Hmm... Concentration while his minds all gone haywire?? Maybe could be related to mastery?

BUT MASTERY IS BORING AS FUCK

Maybe I could somehow teach him that fire is not an all consuming kind of chaos somehow... A punishment for his character arc going stagnant? Maybe with love?

Maybe show him the warmth fire brings?

Hell ya!

So he falls in love with someone who was received warmness by his flame rather than burn from it! Sounds fun!

--

Anyway, since he now knows fire can also bring warmth, thats effectively unlocking passive healing and shit

HIS IDEA OF 'CHAOS' CHANGES!!!

Remember! Abstract ideas are infinitely Malleable!!!

Chaos doesn't just mean destruction and death... At the end of the day, it just an antonym for order! Rest is whatever bullshit you add to it...

Maybe his current understanding of the term 'chaos' can be something less painful and more as something that is now actively helping him grow internally...

This character is a sad forged in the flames of chaos type, a dude who has been through shit and you respect where he is now...

THE TRIGGER WONT CHANGE CAUSE HIS IDEA IS STILL FIRE IS CHAOS... ITS HIS LOSS OF COHESIVE THOUGHTS...

but maybe he can work around it... If he wants to achieve a lack of cohesive thought... (after obviously identifying and isolating this trigger first, that a epiphany he has in a cornered scenario... Throw in drama and up the stakes and begin the self talk to monologue sequence)

Maybe he just needs to somehow silence him own thoughts i guess...

NO THOUGHTS ALSO MEANS NO COHESIVE THOUGHTS!!! AM I RIGHT???

Hehe, So now bro can try calming down a little and keep his head all quiet... Then he can concentrate while still activating the trigger!!!

HE CAN NOW DIRECT THE TONGUES OF FLAME!!!

INSTEAD OF JUST LEAKING FIRE! BRO IS NOW CONTROLLING IT!!!

It starts out by him first making smalls gaps in the fire around him in key zones like his face and joints... And then slowly concentrate them to specific zones like just his fists... Training and rising that flow state up!

He can keep his thoughts cohersive and going when he doesn't need to release flames... Distracted, unga bunga vibing with the sunset, or just busy analysing his situation, and the terrain and factors, what armor the enemy is wearing, or, some shit... And when he wants to make contact... Still his mind... And Boom!!!

Fire!

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If I have to make a logic behind how the release can be concentrated to some body parts and not all... Let's go with nerve ending!!!

AREA OF BODY THAT HAVE A HIGHER SUPERFICIAL DENSITY OF NERVE ENDING CAN BE THE KEY!!!

Imagine the humunculus... Bigger exaggerated regions have higher nerve ending...

Maybe he can select a threshold by his concentration that says fire will leak from a set minimum value of nerve ending density areas only...

And then from there, its road to mastery of quantifying and dictating how much fire... At least to the point I can still portray the flame as a leak from his body, and not boring old creation of flames...

I am fine with this mastery... Doesn't sound boring... Maybe he's an older character already... with his history sprinkled here and there rather than showing his journey closely...

This makes the chemical potential energy in his body sustain longer since its kinda in his control when he wants the flame or not... It makes efficiency better too... Less energy being wasted...

And since he can also master the amount of energy to release...

HE CAN DICTATE HOW IMPACTFUL THE COMBUSTION SPARK IS!!! AKA, *DRUM ROLL* THE BOOM BOOM...

++

Consider the fact that the tongue has amazing nerve ending superficial density...

BREATHING OUT FIRE?? HELL YA!!!

--

If I had to explain the specific of why this shit happens... Maybe it has to do with the flying away of electrons in the air surrounding his skin... Causing instantaneous Plasma matter zones in air...

Like his body is doing something that makes his skin facilitate that... And the nerve endings on his skin manifest that outside his body...

I mean its about his thoughts right, thoght = brain activity = nerves are involved = chaos leaking from its ends on tbe skin...

Maybe the blood flow has been changed somehow, and in its perfect rhythm and ionic saturation.... creating a magnetic field and also ionising the air somehow?

To the point you can see flames rather than just heating air atleast... (Cute electric coil-esque hands sometime in the story?)

Idk bruh... it's Delusional magic.... I will have to break some constraints of our reality... Design liberty type stuff... To make the Delusion make sense I have to deploy some strategic ignorance...

〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

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FLAME ELEMENTAL

AGNI!