As Someone With A Younger Sibling Who Also Watches Empires We Think Is Is %100 Accurate And I Will Be

As an Asexual it should be no surprise Im bad at Chemistry

I, for one, can’t wait for a game theory on Empires SMP because there is just

No line between fan theory and canon, Scott scrolls through tumblr with his morning coffee and picks which of us he’s gonna validate, it’s a very high honor actually

alsmp is just the creators saying “how far can we push our artists. when is it too much.” theres 15 members. each one will have 10 designs. thats 150 designs if we made one for each member and each of their iterations. this is on par with when talisen jaffe keeps making his characters more intricate to test the cosplayers. im going to strangle the alsmp creators stop dying i NEED TO DRAW 150 OF YOU FUCKERS GIVE ME TIME— /j

It's like one big fucked up, capitalistic puzzle

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

honestly blaming the watchers for the entity is so boring. do you think these boomer ass cringe gods could come up with something so cryptic and uncanny? didn’t think so. grian obviously found this fucked up rock and just decided to adopt it because he’s insane

The (Gay) Origins of Vampires in British Literature

Thanks to the absolute joy that is Dracula Daily, I thought now might be a good time to talk about the origins of the vampire in British literature. I am a 19th century scholar who focuses on the Gothic, so while by no means an expert on vampires, I do have some understanding of how the genre came to be and boy, is it as wild and petty and as you'd hope it to be.

In order to understand how vampires came to be the aristocratic, blood sucking sex symbols they are today, let's first lay some ground work on how the tradition made it's way to Britain:

The vampire is a folkloric figure from Central and Eastern Europe, the Balkans, Turkey, and Greece. In 1701, French botanist Joseph Pitton de Tournefort was touring the island of Mykonos and recounted in his A Voyage to the Levant (1702) his experience witnessing the locals dig up the grave of a suspected Vrykolakas and cut the heart from its chest.

A century later, the Romantic poet Robert Southey cites de Tournefort's Voyage in his epic poem Thalaba the Destroyer (1801). The poem does not outright use the word "vampire" and the turning of the main character's love interest into a vampire is a minor plot point, but Southey's work draws a direct line of how the vampire tradition jumped from Greece to England.

Now here's where it gets interesting.

It involves (of course it does) everybody's favorite 19th century bad boy, Lord Byron.

Byron's poem The Giaour (rhymes with shower) is the first mention of a vampire in the English literary canon. His vampire falls more in line with the folkloric vampire as a blood drinking corpse than a debonair aristocrat. How Byron learned about vampires is not clear. He could have learned about them from Southey or de Tournefort, or encountered the legend during his own travels in Greece. Either way, Byron didn't really care for vampires. He thought they were dumb.

ENTER THE FAMOUS GHOST STORY NIGHT AT LAKE GENEVA

Scene: Mary and Percy Shelley. Mary's step sister Claire, Lord Byron, his doctor John Polidori, probably a ton of opium, and definitely a lot of sexual tension.

While most people know that Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein during this time, it's also worth noting that Byron started writing what was called A Fragment, or a Fragment of a Novel which featured an aristocratic traveler/vampire. However, Byron got bored with it and decided to drop the whole thing.

Not so much for Dr. John Polidori. Polidori worshipped Byron. He wanted to be Byron. He most likely wanted to bed Byron and Byron had the gall to laugh and call him "Polly Dolly" and refuse to give him the time of day.

So Polidori got his revenge by taking over Byron' s fragment and turning it into The Vampyre (1819). The entire novel is a thinly veiled jab at Byron and his hedonistic living. To make matters worse, the public thought Byron wrote it which infuriated Polidori who just wanted to shame Byron who laughed the entire thing off and said he would never write anything so trashy.

Once again, you can blame Lord Byron for something. The aristocratic, seductive vampire is (indirectly) because of him.

So, redstone is toxic and radioactive and requires ppe. That's pretty standard stuff. Which hermits follow guidelines is less standard stuff. So here is a non comprehensive list because as someone who has put uranium in my mouth, I'm qualified to talk on this. Please let me know who I'm forgetting if I forget anyone!

(I'm kinda treating this like resin or something, it's safe enough that people have it in their houses but you don't want to mess with it without gear, not like actual radiation. It's only radioactive if consumed or absorbed in some way)

Tangotek: 10/10, has a gas mask he wears when handing it, keeps all his skin covered, properly washes all materials and disposes is everything correctly

Keralis: does not work with redstone but when he does he is suited up, he's not getting irradiated today, no siree 10/10

Cub: proper mask, gloves and fully covered skin, he's up there with hermits with braincells, 9/10

Pearl: 10/10, she's very safe with redstone

Xisuma: 10/10, he can't inhale it if he tried, he doesn't have lungs his face is a television and he is a robot.

Zedaph: 10/10, full goggles and gas mask and proper protection, this is how you do it people

Impulse: he doesn't fully cover his skin but otherwise he is very well protected 9/10

Gem: 9/10, doesn't fully cover her skin but pants that cover deer legs are hard to find so she gets a pass.

Stress: 8/10, she slips up sometimes and will push up her goggles to rub her eyes but she's pretty safe!

Ren: 8/10, anyone looks like an angel next to doc. 2 points are docked for sheer amount of time spent near doc. Doc is a walking hazard.

Tfc: he's careful enough around redstone but he forgets goggles or gloves or something from time to time, 8/10

Iskall: 7/10, remembers to wear a mask and eye protection but forgets gloves often

Grian: wears a mask and gloves but doesn't cover his eyes and has dragged it around with his feathers on accident 6/10

Etho: 4/10. This man wears a mask. That is it. You are lucky if he hasn't rubbed it into his bad eye yet today.

Bdubs: 3/10, doesn't wear gloves or eye protection, accidentally rubs it into his eyes sometimes, does wear a mask to prevent inhalation.

False: 3/10 she handles it without a mask or eye protection and inhales it on the regular but she wears gloves.

Hypno: 3/10, covers his face with like, a cloth mask and nothing else.

Xb: 2/10, only wears gloves. Just gloves. No other protection.

Cleo: 2/10, while she can't be irradiated because she's already dead, she's setting a bad example

Joe: 2/10 he got redstone in his hair and in his food and accidentally poisoned himself and poured water on his redstone.

Scar: 2/10 he has never worn PPE ever and isn't going to start now, but he doesn't do redstone very often because he can just do magic.

Ijevin: 1/10, redstone gets stuck in and on him. He is a walking hazard. Can't get irradiated though.

Doc: 0/10 being a creeper does not protect you from radiation. Works with redstone shirtless. Rubbed it into his eyes. Has it in his body.

Mumbo: -12736462763/10 he eats redstone

I think one of the things that keeps me so invested and in love with Empires is how much care the cc’s themselves pour into it and how much pride they show for it. They all clearly love Empires and it makes watching them get excited about new details and custom textures fun to watch because you get excited with them. You see how much care they all put in with their builds and ideas and the fact they’ve all paid for custom assets and skins to make the world more immersive. Watching them feel finish a new build feels satisfying as they add to these beautiful locations that no matter the build style you can tell they’ve all worked so hard on.

The carefully crafted details in Pearl’s Smallholdings making it feel warm and well worked. How absolutely insane the Mezala Materal Palace is with its beautiful towers and sprawling terrace gardens. The way Mythland feels huge and sprawling and so so detailed as literally everyone points out how large it all is. The beautiful organics and custom trees that makes you feel like your a gnome yourself watching people walk through the Undergrove. How much hard work is clearly put into the Codlands and how it feels rustic and real. How the Grimlands looks it’s name with the sheer atmosphere of the Deepslate Redstone corruption spreading through the planes. How majestic Rivendell feels with a color scheme that stands out against the grays of the custom cliffs as it rises higher and higher. The way bright colors and towering temples peak through the lush jungle trees of the Lost Empires making you feel like you’ve stumbled upon it. How the Blooming Grove looks it’s name with how bright and alive it is with giant flowers blooming high in the air. How the Ocean Queen’s Domain looks as though it’s rising out of the sea with gleaming coral domes as proof. How The Crystal Cliffs weaves its way through its namesake with beautiful purple contrasts adding to the magical feel. How Pixandria stands against the desert and feels as through its survived through strength with beautiful and creative uses of space in lieu of grass or other greenery that gives an entirely different feel.

Then watching everyone praise each other’s builds and say how much they love each other’s empires. Hearing how much they all admire each other’s work and what they’ve chosen to focus on. It just feels good man.

Then after all this amazing work watching them create this interconnected story that’s interesting no matter who you watch. Where everyone has a role and motives and who all feel like fully fleshed out characters. A story that everyone has their stakes in but no one feels like their unimportant or overlooked. With a terrifying main villain with ties to many different people in different ways. The twists that you don’t expect but make sense. The way the story invites investment. The atmosphere they all create not only with their builds but with their acting and reactions.

Basically The Empires SMP is amazing and so are the cc’s and if any of them see this thank you for all the hard work you’ve put into this series.

“For some reason, I don’t want to touch the rainbow [tower].”