I Wish I Had A Stronger Connection With My Mother.

Craving intimacy.

Kisses on foreheads, gentle touches, sweet words, to be treated like I’m fragile even though I’ve built my walls out of stone. For someone to kiss me anywhere but my mouth. My mouth is dirty, filled with blood and strangers spit, spewing filthy, clumsy words. Treat me like I’m brand new, never been used, not dirty.

They hurt me so bad i redownloaded tumblr

It hurts but the pain reminds me I’m alive!!! What is the point of life if you’re not loving and growing!!! I feel so alive and it’s so beautiful!!!

Itching to be understood, but craving to runaway without a trace

Mother, the growing pains are unbearable. Give me the past 5 years back. Let me feel the sand on my feet again. Let me crawl into your arms and sink into your skin. When will the sound of my own name be familiar again? When will I be a kid again?

I think the human experience is the constant struggle to be perfect, yet none of us are. None of us never will be.

I hope you’ll fall inlove with life someday. I hope that you’ll look over and see someone, or something, that makes you love everything unconditionally.

I wish I wasn’t stupid.

I can’t do math, my writing is shit, I can’t pay attention, I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I’m not confident, I’m not pretty.

I’m watching all my friends get ahead of me. They excel in all their subjects so easily. I’m struggling to get passing grades.

I know I’m smart, I just wish I wasn’t the only one aware.

I’m smart enough to understand the look they give me when I ask stupid questions. I’m smart enough to understand why they act like they don’t know me in the hallways.

I just wish I had something to show for myself so I wouldn’t be so overlooked. I just wish I wasn’t stupid enough to believe everyone that doubts me.

I just wish I wasn’t so so stupid.

I want you to hold me together while I tear myself apart

wanting everything and wanting nothing